It’s no big mystery… most guys understand that coming across as confident with a woman is critical for getting noticed and sparking those first feelings of attraction.
Easier said than done for most of us, though, right?
It’s a delicate balance. The nuts and bolts of coming across as a confident, in-control man aren’t obvious. It may require you to do things that you might not be comfortable with right now.
Even more challenging: it’s dangerously easy to come on too strong and blow it. Some guys push things to the point of arrogance, being a total jerk, or even getting into conflicts with women.
Guess what – all of this will definitely get you noticed. But in all the wrong ways.
Which takes us to the most important question that guys ever ask me:
“David, how can I show exactly the right kind of confidence with a woman?”
Now, if you know anything about my teaching, you know that I talk a lot about the concept of being “Cocky And Funny’ with women. In simplest terms, it’s about mixing “cocky” behavior with with just the right amount of humor… all while making sure that the entire interaction is always fun for the woman.
As I watched and learned this stuff for myself when I first decided to become more successful with dating, it became obvious quickly: it didn’t matter if a woman was a supermodel or the adorable girl next-door… as I watched and learned, I saw guys spark insane amounts of chemistry in an almost instinctive way by being Cocky and Funny in exactly the right proportions.
But again… easier said than done for most of us. Go too far with the “Cocky” part, and you’re in jerk territory. Lean too hard on the “Funny,” and you just come off as goofy.
The great news is, there’s a “secret key” that I discovered to help us get it right.
The Key To Success Is Unlocking That Delicate Balance
In other words, it also quickly became obvious to me that using Cocky and Funny wasn’t a universal tool that worked in all situations for everything.
I found that, if I kept trying to use it with everything that happened in an interaction with a woman, she started making creative excuses to get away from me.
So what’s the magic secret to showing a woman exactly that right amount of confidence? Here’s what I learned from those guys who were “naturals” with women … and how you can get life-changing results with it, too…
I learned that the simple key was adopting the attitude with a woman that you’re talking to your “annoying little sister.”
You heard right. Stay with me on this…
When you first meet a woman and want to use Cocky Comedy in precisely the right proportions to get her attention and spark attraction, take the attitude that everything she says and does shows that she’s acting like a bratty younger sibling.
Specifically: imagine you have a little sister. She’s a bit annoying, but you really love her and want to look out for her.
How would you treat her?
You’d probably tell her to get away from you when she said something embarrassing or ridiculous. Maybe you’d gently nudge her when she acted like she wanted all of the attention. Maybe you’d point out something about what she’s saying, doing, or wearing that just isn’t as cool as she thinks it is.
Generally, you’d gently tease her and take every opportunity to let her know that she’s not nearly as awesome as she thinks she is.
At the same time, you’d subtly communicate that you’re the protective “big brother” part of the relationship. You walk on the street-side of the sidewalk for her. You open doors for her. You give balance to the teasing in a way that says you’ll kick the butt of anyone else that tries to mess with her.
Strike that balance, and you’ve got magic. Even better… you’ve got chemistry.
And here’s what I love most about it:
This Isn’t About Playing Games, Using Gimmicks, Or Cheesy Lines
It’s simply an attitude to use as your default when you first approach a great woman. It’s a mindset that allows you to handle any situation with a woman with exactly the right balance of confidence and humor.
It creates instant chemistry with a woman because she feels comfortable with everything you’re doing. You’re teasing her, but it all feels familiar and safe.
Above all, she feels those first sparks of attraction because you’re giving her something that 99% of all other guys have no clue how to do…
It’s about having fun with her.
Of course, once you’re using this mindset to spark chemistry, it’s important to know when to turn it off. Once you achieve the emotion called attraction, keeping it going is a whole other thing.
So learn how to recognize when it’s happening…
If you’ve got some fun, playful attraction-building happening with a woman, you’ll start to see that she’s really receptive to opening up your conversation. Maybe she’s touching you. Twirling her hair. Smiling without breaking eye contact.
This is when you know that she is starting to have the emotion of attraction for you – and now you need to show her that you can keep her attention by reacting appropriately. Know what’s happening so you can take things to the next level in the right way with her…
Important note: this definitely does not involve treating her like your bratty little sister. But that’s for another article… stay tuned…
The whole reason that things go off the rails for so many guys is that we fail to show exactly the right kind kind of confidence with women at the right time.
So the chemistry and tension disappears. So does all the fun she’s been having. And that’s a total deal-breaker. Also known as crash-and-burn time.
So don’t be that guy who can’t respond in the right ways with a woman… who can’t show her that there’s nothing fun and exciting happening with you and more around the corner… that you can’t give her anything to wonder about.
Learn how to show her exactly the right amount and kind of confidence for any situation with Cocky Comedy … all balanced with precisely the right amount of fun and humor… and the responses you start getting from amazing women will blow your mind.