Approaching Women – Your Problem – David DeAngelo
When it comes to approaching women, what is your problem?
What is your real problem?
I’ve got 10 of them.
I’ve been trying to figure out how to successfully approach women for a lot of years now. And it was a huge challenge for me and I’ve been interacting with men for a lot of years now, many many many men, all the way from completely hopeless to incredibly good and everything in between. And here are the 10 problems that I think we have and I’d like you to just kind of think about them, put them in your mind, see if any of them ring true.
Number 1. You don’t know what to expect. You don’t know what to expect if you walk up to a woman in a situation and you play a particular gambit or you try a particular approach. You don’t know what’s going to happen.
Number 2. You care what other people think. Or what they might think if you did it.
Number 3. You don’t want to be rejected. There’s something about the concept of this word we call rejection or this concept where you go engage another person and they don’t want to be your friend. The don’t want you around. They want you away from them. It’s painful. You don’t want it.
Number 4. You don’t know what to do or say. You’ve got an insecurity around the idea that you just don’t know what to do. You see her there you know that walking over and talking to her – nothing bad is going to happen it’s a pretty safe environment, you know you’re a decent person, she is nice, the whole deal, you’ve psyched yourself up – you just don’t know what to do. You don’t know.
Number 5. You don’t believe it’ll work. For probably 25 years of my life I carried around this kind of inner core belief that it was essentially impossible to just walk up to any woman in any situation and start a conversation and have it “work”. Anybody identify with that? Good. It just doesn’t seem like it could possibly work. Here’s the kicker to this one. You can actually watch it happen and do it a couple of times see it work and then like not pay attention to it for a while and kind of get away from it for a few months or get into a relationship, come back a year later, remember it working, remember how easy it was, and still look at the woman you want to talk to and go “Oh man, I just don’t believe it could work.” It’s like the I don’t believe it could work virus – it just keeps coming back and mutating.
Number 6. You don’t want to bother her or her group. You don’t want to upset her. You don’t want her to be offended. You don’t want her friends to not like you.
Number 7. It seems unnatural for a man to just walk up to a woman in any situation and start a conversation with her. It seems unnatural. And by the way there are many cultures where it is culturally just not the right thing to do – it’s wrong. Our Western culture, right now I’m speaking from America, there’s a little bit of that taboo but it’s usually pretty well accepted when it happens in my experience.
Number 8. You have a poor self-image, low self confidence or low self-esteem. It’s an inner issue.
Number 9. You make it too important. You make it meaningful. You make it mean something about yourself. You tie everything else in life to this one experience. And whether you succeed or fail.
Number 10. My favorite. Because you can’t control the fears that stop you. You want to control them. It seems logical that you’ll be able to control them. When you go back and think about it after the moment happens you go “I could control this”, but then you get into the situation again and they come up for you. But you can’t control it and that fear leads to bigger fears. And it makes you afraid of other things that makes you afraid of yourself. You realize that this part of you that you can’t control is in here with you and it might be running the show.
Who can identify with one of those ten things?
So if we knocked out those ten do you feel like we covered all the material here in this program, we covered those 10 areas and you walked out of here knowing you knew how to handle all ten of those would you feel like we had a successful program? Okay. Excellent.
For more information, go check out my Approaching Women program RIGHT NOW!