Overcome Your Insecurities One Moment at a Time
Now, an important thing for you remember – I mean this is really, really important – is the mistake of thinking that cocky comedy is everything.
It’s not everything. This is a tool in your toolbox. It is a club in your golf bag. It’s one of the things that you’re going to use.
You probably notice when you read the newsletters – guys latch on to that one. It evolved to “CNF” (cocky and funny). Its like “jargon” now. “Dude, I rolled up on these 3 girls and I did CNF on them, and I got some response ….”
What are you talking about? (Insert eye roll here.)
Some of the people who wrote me those emails are in this room aren’t they? It’s okay – you don’t have to reveal yourself.
So it’s a tool in the bag, it’s one piece of the puzzle.
Learning this alone is not going to solve all of your problems, but it’s a great tool and learning it can really, really help you can start conversations and do really well with women – get into that banter, get that attraction going.
But it’s not everything so don’t rely on this solely. Don’t make it your whole game. Don’t rely on cocky comedy to create attraction all by itself.
You really need to understand the other dynamics.
Don’t make it your whole game. Don’t rely on cocky comedy to create attraction all by itself.
And finally, you must overcome your insecurities. You must polish up your personality quirks.
You must overcome your insecurities.
Learn to control your body language and other things if you really want to take advantage of the power of this technique and way of thinking offers.
I really enjoyed coming these programs and getting to interact with people. I like interacting and helping guys get to the next level, and a consistent thing that I see is guys come over to me and they start asking me question, and I’ll confront him with something.
Then I hit him with an idea… “You know what? It seems to me like you are just acting like a puss when you’re around women, and you gotta stop that.”
And that’ll be like my answer. You know, they come up to me and they’re like, “Ohhhh hey David how’s it going? I got this problem….”
“You gotta just stop acting like a puss.”
Its startling to them, and I see them jump back, and you know, they avert their gaze and they get nervous and it’s freaks them out. And that’s okay, it’s fine. Really – its where you’re at.
And I realize the whole time I’m standing up here on stage and you’re looking up at me and there is this natural and unconscious status built into the situation. Now there’s more of that stuff going on.
But if you do that if you find yourself doing those things unconsciously work on that. Work on being able to look at someone and listen to what they’re saying and be connected with them have some level of intimacy, and then have them say something that freaks you out and not having it bother you, not having it bug you, just… “Hmmmm ok.”
I used to work with someone and it really made an impression on me, because I could go to him and say something about him you know that I was like almost afraid to share because it was this high status person.
And I remember whenever I would get the courage to work up something, to give some constructive criticism or some feedback that I thought he might not take very well, I remember he would go “Hhmmmm……”
That made such a huge impression on me.
I remember thinking to myself, “Oh my God, this guy is built of STONE.” Nothing affects him.
And of course, that put his status even further up.
So if you got nervous tics and gestures and personality quirks and little things where you get freaked out by things work on that. Work on it with all people. It will help you – will help you in almost all areas of life.
If you walk in to ask for a raise and you say in your little wussy voice, “Uh you know I’ve been doing a really good job lately, and I’m thinking if wouldn’t be too much trouble, could you actually give me a raise possibly?”
How likely are you to get a raise?
Or if you’re sitting with a woman and it’s the end of dinner and everything’s been going pretty well and you’re thinking, “She loves me – she’s coming home with me RIGHT NOW.”
And you go, “Hey you know ummm, I got some new Barry Manilow records, ummm you know I was thinking, if you’re not doing anything else….”
She will make the next excuse that pops into her head a reality and you’ll be permanently friend-zoned.
So if you don’t learn to overcome your insecurities using whatever techniques are available to you to use, you may be setting yourself up for failure. Practice using eye contact. Practice speaking without using “ummm”.
Take the time to master your body language, to learn what it’s about and what you are actually projecting.
Do these things, and you will learn to overcome your insecurities one moment of mastery at a time.